I don't mind telemarketers. 

There. I said it. 

As a marketer I understand why it happens. In fact, there have been some telemarketing calls that have actually worked on me. I opted to receive an information package (from Direct Buy) once and ended up becoming a member. I have also been known to donate to the occasional charity over the phone. Mostly, though, I don't mind them because I know how to deal with them. Clearly unsolicited calls can be easily dismissed by insisting they remove your name from their call list. I'm better at this than my wife, and now she gets more calls than I.

However, prerecorded telemarketing calls piss me off to no end. They tell me that you really don't care about me as a potential customer. They tell me you're employing a shotgun approach to telemarketing (calling everybody, and hoping someone responds). They tell me you're sinister. The worst part, though, is that I can't ask you to remove my name from the call list. To me, that's entirely unethical and borderline illegal.

It's telemarketing spam. Isn't that the worst of two worlds?

Telemarketing can work if you properly segment, show some compassion, act politely and adhere to some basic best practices. Prerecorded telemarketing messages meet NONE of those standards.

It just pisses everyone off. 

You may get 1 of 10,000 people to respond, and that may make the economics work for you. But you're creating far more brand disenchantment which is far more damaging. 

If, after considering a marketing tactic, you're not sure you can look at yourself in the mirror, don't do it. Please. Spare us. Save yourself.

YOUR TURN:

Give me your telemarketing horror stories. Better yet, what are your telemarketing success stories?

For the most part, dentistry is a commodity.  They all fix mouths.  That's it. 

The marketing of individual practices can be very similar too.  Generic newsletters, standard emails, the occasional snail-mail campaign, and the occasional free clinic to drum up leads.  All good ideas, but nothing exceptional, and nothing unique to any particular practice.

Then along came Michael Zuk, a dentist from Red Deer, Alberta, who changed it all!

He paid $31,000 for a tooth that was once in John Lennon's mouth.  Why, you ask, would someone do that, especially given that it can't even be verified as authentic?

In my opinion, it was genius!

Consider this: from this point forward, he's Alberta's most famous dentist.  Everyone is talking about him.  Some opinions may be negative, but they're still talking about him.  More importantly, any time anyone in Red Deer decides they need a new dentist, Dr. Zuk will at least be mentioned or considered, if not recommended as a result of that fame.  "You should check out the guy that bought Lennon's tooth!", they'll say.

Not a bad for $31,000.  

Imagine an ad agency claiming that for a mere $31,000, an ad campaign will be conceived, developed and deployed, and it's guaranteed to result in the undisputed top brand awareness ranking in your category for as long as you're in business.  Talk about blowing smoke!  Dr. Zuk achieved that very thing in a matter of minutes. 

Genius.

If you're in a commodity business - or any business for that matter - stop marketing just like everyone else does.  Do something unique.  Something memorable.  Something outrageous.  It just might put you on the map for good.

YOUR TURN:   

- Do you agree?  Or is he just nuts?
- What are some of the most outrageous, yet successful marketing stunts you can recall?

I am a marketing advisor.  I spend most of my working hours helping businesses understand the marketing tools available to them and the relative cost (in terms of time and money) of each.  I also talk to them about prioritizing the best ideas ahead of the good ideas, because no one has unlimited resources.  

This one got my head shaking. 

I have, on many occasions, endorsed the creation of hard-copy, offline (gasp!) catalogues that capture the power of photography, paper finishes and tangibility.  It works.  Especially for companies that offer high-end products.

What I don't get is using 615 pages (oversized no less) to do so.  Granted, they sell a lot of products.  615 at least!  But here are the issues that cause some concern:

• Has it not long been established that this much tree-killing causes real corporate brand damage?
  
• Can the same outcomes not be achieved with, say, 200 pages?
  
• They are clearly pandering to the abundantly wealthy, which I am not.  Could they not do a better job of customer segmentation?  They sent me TWO of the same catalogues, 3 weeks apart.  Think of the savings in postage alone!
  

THE LESSON FOR BUSINESS:

• Catalogues work.  They can be an important component of you marketing mix.
  
• Shorter catalogues work better.  There is no harm done to your brand by creating a, say, 32 page catalogue that highlights the product categories and some featured items, then clearly points readers to a corresponding web page for more products.  You earn positive brand association by saving trees, and you gain valuable customer buying behaviour data by encouraging them to browse online.  Everyone wins.  
  

YOUR TURN:
Tell me what I'm missing?  The good people at Restoration Hardware are clearly doing most things right.  Why, in your opinion, is this part of their marketing strategy?